3 weeks!

Already, can you believe it!! Its gone by so fast yet it seems like an eternity I've been trucking back and forth to the hospital...

We had an EXCELLENT day at the NICU today...Babies couldn't have been better. Blake was doing awesome today!! It was the first day they added in his new suppliment Neosure to his milk, he did wonderful on it. First it went down his tube really well, as opposed to him puffing up his tummy and pushing it back up out the tube. He kept all his feedings down and didn't have any spit back up his throat either. They took him off his air flow nasal prongs today and he was just breathing normally. The best news was his Oxygen levels remained high most of the day, in the the high 90's and even hovering around 100%..WOOHOOO!!!!!! I held him while feeding him through his feeding tube and for the first time he finished his feed and I was able to keep holding him without him desating on me!! He was pretty cute today, everytime Kirk and I talked to him while we were holding him he smiled at us...Yes they really do smile, I know they say they its gas this young but I don't believe it...Even the nurses say Hey look he's smiling! So Way to go Little Man on the best day you've had in a week!!!

Leah of course was Leah, cute, easy, held her for a long time again today...She has leap frogged her brother with her weight gain and is now bigger than him..She was 1431 today which is 3 pounds 2.5oz..Blake was 1361 which is 3 pounds even, although I will cut him some slack since he's spent a week with out the calorie boosters...

I dont' have any pictures from today or yesterday, its difficult to take pictures while you are holding them plus lets be honest there's only so many exciting pictures one can take of a sleeping baby!

Lately everyone has asked me how I'm doing, and the truth is I am doing really great!! I feel great, incision is feeling good and compared to how I felt in the last days before they were born I feel like a million bucks...I'm a bit tired but I don't feel I can even complain about tired compared to how I'll be when the babes come home. I have great help right now with both sets of parents taking care of things at home and Alyssa, I've been able to focus on being at the hospital and the babies. Of course I do feel pulled in both directions, when I'm at home I think I should be at the hospital and when I'm there I feel like I should hurry home to Alyssa (and Kirk!). There are certainly days when I have a hard time leaving them or think about them when I'm at home and worry that they don't know that I'm their mom and that they spend 22 hours a day in a plastic box...I hate thinking that they are awake with no one to comfort them...I know its a short term thing and I'm mostly at peace with the way things are...

As I sit in their little cubicle behind the curtain wall surrounded by babies and parents that really are in a tough place I hardly feel the need for self pity...

The babies that surround us include a 26 week preemie who is struggling to gain weight after her bowel resection and having an ostomy bag put in while she awaits another surgery to fix a valve in her heart...we have a little girl who has absesses that refuse to heal and today through my fabric wall I heard parents learning that their newborn preemie son has down syndrome. Down the hall is the little guy who keeps having brain seizures and my room mate from Postpartum who's 26 weeker has already undergone 2 surgeries since my 2 have been born...

Then there was the most horrible conversation I witnessed downstairs as I passed the Adult ICU to go get a parking pass and heard a women whom I gathered to be an aunt telling a little 5 or 6 year old little girl that her mother just died...heartwrenching right?!? That was truly an aweful thing to witness...

So as I sit behind my curtained wall not being able to avoid overhearing these converstations of Dr's and Nurses and single mothers with abusive husbands, I hold my tiny little babies tight and kiss them and can't believe how incredibly blessed I really am. And when I leave the hospital at night, yes it can be tough but I mostly leave with a smile because I'm leaving behind healthy babies and going home to a loving husband and another little miracle...So really and truly I am doing Great!!

Thanks to ALL of my friends and family who are constantly checking in on us to make sure we are doing well...Kirk and Alyssa are also doing well..Kirk is a busy busy guy working so he can take some time off when the babies come home. Alyssa has had her moments of wanting us to stay home but she's been having lots of fun with her Mama's and Papa's and the extra love they've been giving her...